Dusting myself off...

So she showed up... my evil lady friend....which means my first cycle on Clomid was a big fat fail! The weekend before last I hit rock bottom. Trying to concieve had officially knocked me on my ass. I was a crying, angry mess all weekend long. When my period didnt show this week I held on to a tiny bit of hope but as the week went on, the more I knew I wasn't pregnant and I just wanted the cycle to be over and done with. I started praying for my period to show so I could stop worrying and wondering. And what do you know, she showed. So I am slowly but surely wiping away the tears, getting up off the floor and dusting myself off. We have decided not to jump in to another round of fertility drugs just yet. I am going to focus on other things then trying to concieve for the next couple of months. It's been too draining and emotional so we definitely need a break. Maybe in May we will be ready to go again but that is still to be decided.

So this is an official goodbye to any hopes of a 2012 Whitfield Baby.

I am putting all of my faith in God that this is part of the perfect plan for our family.

Discouraged...

• 10 dpo/12 dpt = BFN.

• Feeling like I'm coming down with something too.

• Trying to focus on other things this weekend.

• Thinking about throwing in the TTC towel.

• I'm a debbie downer today, sorry!

Ready or Not, Here We GO!!!!

Why are fertility treatments such a taboo subject? I mean, I get that it is embarrassing when you have to go this route because your body has failed you. BUT I don't quite understand trying to hide it. My family and close friends know exactly what I'm going through. They have all been supportive. Anyways, that is why I feel okay with posting about it on here.

So- the Provera worked. On day 6 I started my period so I didnt have to finish the last few pills. Now I am on CD 3. And do you know what that means?!? I start Clomid tonight. Yikes! I'm so nervous/excited! It's scary enough when you make the decision to expand your family and then you get pregnant after just a few "special nights" with your hubby. But when you have to try really hard you think about it every step of the way. Constantly asking... are we ready to change life as we know it... again? Luckily, we continue to answer that question with "yes!". So here we go...

Here's the plan-

Clomid 50 mg, one tablet daily, CD 3-7

Estradiol 1 mg, 3 tablets twice daily, CD 8-12

Follicle Sonogram at 11am on Monday, 2/13/2012

(Bring HCG trigger shot to sono appt)

Crinone 8% for 14 days starting on CD 17

Go to Dr. C's for progesterone level check on CD 21

Wait and then TEST. =)

 ($165 dollars later, we are ready to get this baby show on the road!)

Are you my Brother??

Avery has a ton of cousins and the majority of them have more than one sibling, so Avery has been very curious about sisters and brothers for a while now. He calls everyone his brother. This is a conversation we had recently.

Me: "We are going to dinner with Brody and his Mommy & Daddy tonight."

Avery: "Yay Brody!!! He's my brudder!"

Me: "Well, he's not your brother but he is a good friend."

Avery: (so mad) "YES HE IS MY BRUDDER!"

Poor Avery wants to know who HIS brother is.

He asks...

"is Lukey my brudder?"

"is Cameron my brudder?"

"is Gage my brudder?"

"is Tatum my brudder?"

"is (insert every friend/cousin he knows) my brudder?"

He even asked his daddy at dinner the other night...

"Are you my brudder, Daddy?"

As silly and sweet it is to hear him ask these questions all day everyday,

it's hard to tell him over and over,

"Babe you don't have a brother. Maybe one day though!"